We could frequent gay bars, bathhouses, the men’s room in the basement of a local department store, highway rest stops, the steam room at the gym, certain notorious parks, and that was about it. Unfortunately, each of these venues was fraught with a certain amount of danger. In fact, arrests, public embarrassment and gay bashings were a semi-regular hazard of being gay.

And regardless of whether we chose to keep our activities underground in an effort to avoid these problems which was the almost universal survival tactic until the early s or to live our lives out loud which became more common after the Stonewall uprising in and the American Psychiatric Association’s removal of homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses in , our venues for meeting potential dates remained the same.

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What are the feelings you have about being in the closet? I want to be honest with people, so they stop guessing. I am afraid of what people will do if I tell them. Only a few people know. They are gay too. I hear people talk about how they hate gay people and it makes it even harder. Do you feel like you are living a lie? People think I am straight. Some wonder about me. I try not to show it. I get nervous when people talk about being gay around me.

Do you think your parents will take it well? I think my real Mom will. She has gay friends.