I am a product of my decisions. Just a few short years ago, I sat across the table from a lovely man on a first date. It had taken a couple months to get there due to our busy schedules, but it seemed to be worth it. He was easy to talk to and seemed like a great guy. During the course of the evening, we discussed what we were looking for and he told me that he was still married, but his divorce would be final in a few days.

When someone else refuses to give up on you, even if you seem ready on that other person’s assessment of you too much; she can help you.

I still have fond memories of Nora from accounting — the only person worth remembering from my short stint at a sleazy Wall Street firm. She was smart, beautiful, kind, personable, and rising up the ranks. I was a shy, struggling year-old salesperson with thinning hair. By every metric, she was out of my league. Still, she spurned all the self-absorbed rich assholes who tried to impress her.

Instead, she ate lunch with me almost every day and invented reasons to chat with me during downtimes. On Thursday nights, the senior VP took everyone out for drinks. My boss, Brian, knew I was smitten with her, and he exploited that knowledge to motivate me. Unhappy with my sales numbers, he called me into his office for a drubbing. An intimidating figure with his sculpted hair, expensive suit, gaudy cufflinks, and heavy Brooklyn accent, Brian sat me down for what any sane person would deem an inappropriate workplace conversation.

But this was Wall Street in the 90s, and the moneymakers made the rules. Yes, he was crude and misogynistic. But he was rich and powerful, and I was impressionable. He had me believing she was too good for me.